








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1394 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 623 matches | ||
| Faceit | 37 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 77 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7547 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,736 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10262 | 33% |
| Smokes | 8744 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4983 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 6747 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,488,646 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2256 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | p | 58% | 113 |
| #2 | クソ野郎 | 56% | 86 |
| #3 | Z1TCH | 52% | 85 |
| #4 | ๖ۣۜДlbeят Свендсе | 49% | 97 |
| #5 | E1K1Z | 48% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Kleinert Baktung | 48% | 50 |
| #7 | Mollo | 46% | 129 |
| #8 | McMilde | 42% | 52 |
| #9 | Celli | 40% | 84 |
| #10 | Flaxx | 33% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ๖ۣۜДlbeят Свендсе | 17 | 0.0080 |
| #2 | クソ野郎 | 11 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | p | 7 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | Z1TCH | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Mollo | 3 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mollo | 461 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #2 | p | 418 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #3 | Z1TCH | 361 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #4 | クソ野郎 | 220 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | E1K1Z | 213 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ๖ۣۜДlbeят Свендсе | +2.94 | 89 | 54 |
| #2 | Z1TCH | +2.35 | 81 | 72 |
| #3 | p | +1.94 | 86 | 62 |
| #4 | Mollo | +1.89 | 65 | 64 |
| #5 | クソ野郎 | +1.30 | 73 | 54 |





