








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 21 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1149 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,277 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2289 | 43% |
| Smokes | 1338 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 515 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 1135 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $264,350 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | powerslave` | 90% | 10 |
| #2 | Mythwil | 70% | 10 |
| #3 | zewa | 70% | 10 |
| #4 | EGGTART` | 68% | 22 |
| #5 | Dawwyl` | 62% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | RayZ. | 49% | 57 |
| #13 | jin | 49% | 55 |
| #14 | EatBaitPray | 44% | 9 |
| #15 | tegridy | 41% | 22 |
| #16 | AutumnPikachu | 22% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bwitzkl | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | powerslave`s little girl | 4 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | Gwappywappy | 4 | 0.0073 |
| #4 | tegridy | 3 | 0.0061 |
| #5 | Mythwil | 3 | 0.0152 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bwitzkl | 193 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #2 | jin | 192 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | RayZ. | 137 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | powerslave`s little girl | 96 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | tegridy | 92 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mythwil | +5.29 | 88 | 63 |
| #2 | powerslave` | +3.42 | 61 | 71 |
| #3 | EGGTART` | +2.77 | 67 | 60 |
| #4 | Dawwyl` | +1.47 | 57 | 60 |
| #5 | Deevos | +1.28 | 58 | 73 |





