








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 23 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Premier | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
662 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,796 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 401 | 22% |
| Smokes | 461 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 646 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 288 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $163,195 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kruger | 71% | 14 |
| #2 | Toonifisch | 67% | 6 |
| #3 | Zonicol | 60% | 5 |
| #4 | Benken | 60% | 47 |
| #5 | Edfu | 57% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Benken | 60% | 47 |
| #5 | Edfu | 57% | 14 |
| #6 | Bunte Tunte | 54% | 46 |
| #7 | ChimZ | 53% | 19 |
| #8 | marCel | 50% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Benken | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Bunte Tunte | 2 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bunte Tunte | 126 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #2 | Benken | 113 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | ChimZ | 88 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #4 | Edfu | 31 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | Zonicol | 25 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Benken | +2.05 | 61 | 77 |
| #2 | marCel | +1.41 | 84 | 67 |
| #3 | Edfu | +0.17 | 50 | 53 |
| #4 | Kruger | -0.25 | 66 | 54 |
| #5 | Toonifisch | -0.34 | 65 | 48 |





