








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 10 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
899 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,600 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 661 | 25% |
| Smokes | 716 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 683 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 540 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $366,160 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Benken | 47% | 85 |
| #7 | Toonifisch | 43% | 14 |
| #8 | Edfu | 39% | 79 |
| #9 | marCel | 36% | 11 |
| #10 | Zonicol | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Benken | 10 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | ChimZ | 4 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | Benken | 4 | 0.0123 |
| #4 | Bunte Tunte | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | marCel | 3 | 0.0129 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Benken | 195 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #2 | ChimZ | 159 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #3 | Bunte Tunte | 150 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | Edfu | 140 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | Zonicol | 52 | 0.28 | 1 min |





