








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 356 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 127 matches | ||
| Faceit | 98 matches | ||
| Esplay | 29 matches | 1,638 | |
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Renown | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2951 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,064 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3311 | 22% |
| Smokes | 4671 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3452 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3630 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,464,236 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 273 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Norpa | 55% | 56 |
| #2 | Nuttydutty | 51% | 89 |
| #3 | Antuneez | 49% | 295 |
| #4 | Biggus Dickus | 47% | 32 |
| #5 | SweCrackie | 46% | 228 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | AreYouNotEntertained?!?! | 42% | 36 |
| #10 | ollie | 41% | 114 |
| #11 | Flabben | 40% | 87 |
| #12 | Gubbknull | 38% | 136 |
| #13 | Chaosiq | 35% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Antuneez | 12 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | SweCrackie | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | Crunt | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Norpa | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | ollie | 2 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Antuneez | 1453 | 0.24 | 44 min |
| #2 | ollie | 304 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #3 | SweCrackie | 302 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #4 | Crunt | 287 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #5 | Chaosiq | 256 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crunt | +2.60 | 68 | 68 |
| #2 | Norpa | +1.86 | 68 | 58 |
| #3 | Antuneez | +1.22 | 62 | 80 |
| #4 | Flabben | +0.81 | 77 | 64 |
| #5 | ollie | +0.27 | 71 | 69 |





