








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 879 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 130 matches | ||
| Faceit | 99 matches | ||
| Esplay | 36 matches | 1,895 | |
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Renown | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4270 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,645 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8172 | 36% |
| Smokes | 4841 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 5376 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4256 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,148,236 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 512 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nuttydutty | 57% | 102 |
| #2 | Norpa | 55% | 112 |
| #3 | ollie | 55% | 119 |
| #4 | Crunt | 53% | 170 |
| #5 | SweCrackie | 53% | 212 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Muerdurör | 49% | 295 |
| #10 | ʞʞɐɯs ツ | 48% | 27 |
| #11 | AreYouNotEntertained?!?! | 47% | 36 |
| #12 | Chaosiq | 47% | 111 |
| #13 | Flabben | 44% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SweCrackie | 6 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Crunt | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | ollie | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Muerdurör | 2 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | Norpa | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Muerdurör | 571 | 0.09 | 14 min |
| #2 | ollie | 321 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #3 | Chaosiq | 303 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #4 | Crunt | 283 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #5 | SweCrackie | 281 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crunt | +2.52 | 66 | 67 |
| #2 | klöS | +1.54 | 84 | 63 |
| #3 | Antuneez | +1.20 | 64 | 79 |
| #4 | Norpa | +1.19 | 68 | 59 |
| #5 | Flabben | +0.89 | 80 | 63 |





