








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 244 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 59 matches | ||
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Esplay | 3 matches | 1,866 | |
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Renown | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2415 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,802 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 896 | 19% |
| Smokes | 904 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1832 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 1170 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $804,250 of utility $190 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 216 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Chaosiq | 40% | 40 |
| #11 | Flabben | 39% | 38 |
| #12 | Muerdurör | 38% | 136 |
| #13 | Biggus Dickus | 29% | 14 |
| #14 | ʞʞɐɯs ツ | 23% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Antuneez | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Crunt | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | Muerdurör | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | Chaosiq | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Flabben | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Antuneez | 479 | 0.21 | 15 min |
| #2 | Muerdurör | 271 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #3 | Crunt | 186 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #4 | Chaosiq | 106 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | ollie | 92 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | klöS | +2.04 | 88 | 61 |
| #2 | Crunt | +2.00 | 66 | 69 |
| #3 | Norpa | +1.51 | 73 | 57 |
| #4 | Nuttydutty | +1.49 | 72 | 63 |
| #5 | Flabben | +0.55 | 69 | 68 |





