








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 577 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 128 matches | ||
| Faceit | 85 matches | ||
| Esplay | 39 matches | 1,658 | |
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Renown | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 82 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2927 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,921 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2930 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3407 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3089 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3495 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,022,659 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 245 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Gubbknull | 42% | 76 |
| #10 | ollie | 41% | 93 |
| #11 | Flabben | 39% | 64 |
| #12 | Biggus Dickus | 39% | 83 |
| #13 | ʞʞɐɯs ツ | 39% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Antuneez | 8 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Crunt | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | ʞʞɐɯs ツ | 5 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | Muerdurör | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | ollie | 3 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Antuneez | 1134 | 0.25 | 35 min |
| #2 | Muerdurör | 537 | 0.11 | 14 min |
| #3 | ollie | 281 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #4 | Crunt | 245 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #5 | Chaosiq | 210 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crunt | +2.16 | 66 | 68 |
| #2 | Antuneez | +1.86 | 63 | 82 |
| #3 | Norpa | +1.28 | 75 | 61 |
| #4 | ʞʞɐɯs ツ | +0.90 | 76 | 70 |
| #5 | Flabben | +0.32 | 79 | 63 |





