








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 247 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3271 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,454 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5958 | 34% |
| Smokes | 4091 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3918 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3487 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $586,345 of utility $69 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 97 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nøahje | 61% | 74 |
| #2 | BLICKY | 50% | 34 |
| #3 | KILL | 49% | 101 |
| #4 | ♡ | 47% | 51 |
| #5 | Oh_No_Melon | 46% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | tbear | 43% | 53 |
| #7 | Reef | 42% | 36 |
| #8 | Roxi | 40% | 60 |
| #9 | ⒻⓇⒶⓎⒿⒶ | 39% | 119 |
| #10 | odb | 39% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KILL | 13 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | nøahje | 8 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | ⒻⓇⒶⓎⒿⒶ | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | ♡ | 4 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | Roxi | 3 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⒻⓇⒶⓎⒿⒶ | 414 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #2 | KILL | 409 | 0.21 | 10 min |
| #3 | Reef | 225 | 0.29 | 7 min |
| #4 | nøahje | 210 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #5 | Roxi | 174 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nøahje | +6.48 | 87 | 70 |
| #2 | odb | +3.19 | 78 | 69 |
| #3 | ♡ | +1.46 | 67 | 58 |
| #4 | tbear | +0.41 | 68 | 70 |
| #5 | Reef | +0.20 | 61 | 77 |





