








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1258 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 841 matches | ||
| Faceit | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7258 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,402 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7982 | 29% |
| Smokes | 9332 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 3717 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 6371 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,899,973 of utility $186 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 771 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Who | 48% | 60 |
| #2 | *Phresh* | 46% | 59 |
| #3 | ⒻⓇⒶⓎⒿⒶ | 42% | 121 |
| #4 | Sнιvαиεε | 40% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Who | 48% | 60 |
| #2 | *Phresh* | 46% | 59 |
| #3 | ⒻⓇⒶⓎⒿⒶ | 42% | 121 |
| #4 | Sнιvαиεε | 40% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⒻⓇⒶⓎⒿⒶ | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | Sнιvαиεε | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Who | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⒻⓇⒶⓎⒿⒶ | 480 | 0.19 | 11 min |
| #2 | Sнιvαиεε | 241 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #3 | Who | 173 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | *Phresh* | 123 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sнιvαиεε | -0.00 | 54 | 67 |
| #2 | Who | -0.14 | 53 | 66 |
| #3 | *Phresh* | -0.50 | 65 | 70 |
| #4 | ⒻⓇⒶⓎⒿⒶ | -0.62 | 72 | 56 |
| #5 | Roxi | -0.67 | 45 | 54 |





