








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 397 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 402 matches | ||
| Faceit | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6644 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,475 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7905 | 31% |
| Smokes | 5299 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 6382 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 5889 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,059,718 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 125 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Timep | 63% | 32 |
| #2 | Jucktmichnicht | 58% | 36 |
| #3 | not MK | 53% | 78 |
| #4 | Invalid | 52% | 115 |
| #5 | daak | 51% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | :[ | 47% | 135 |
| #11 | .cRYY | 46% | 95 |
| #12 | nXs | 40% | 119 |
| #13 | Dibbsi | 36% | 36 |
| #14 | Rich_ter | 23% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Invalid | 8 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | not MK | 8 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | kR1Z0 | 7 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | :[ | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | nXs | 7 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaizoku-ō | 576 | 0.14 | 18 min |
| #2 | kR1Z0 | 518 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #3 | Invalid | 425 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #4 | nXs | 203 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #5 | any | 156 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | daak | +2.83 | 87 | 48 |
| #2 | Jucktmichnicht | +2.14 | 90 | 57 |
| #3 | nXs | +1.97 | 90 | 59 |
| #4 | Invalid | +1.81 | 85 | 66 |
| #5 | kR1Z0 | +1.72 | 83 | 70 |





