








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 765 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 49 matches | ||
| Premier | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6624 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,937 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2478 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1909 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 3043 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2507 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,087,906 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 235 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lcs | 48% | 142 |
| #2 | ツL1ndst3nツ | 48% | 180 |
| #3 | Doggie | 48% | 21 |
| #4 | MissMøffe | 48% | 126 |
| #5 | L1tt4u *woops* | 47% | 180 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | MissMøffe | 48% | 126 |
| #5 | L1tt4u *woops* | 47% | 180 |
| #6 | bel1eveツ | 42% | 50 |
| #7 | blind guy ⊕☁ | 39% | 166 |
| #8 | Nissen Lucky | 36% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ツL1ndst3nツ | 36 | 0.0104 |
| #2 | blind guy ⊕☁ | 23 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | lcs | 20 | 0.0069 |
| #4 | L1tt4u *woops* | 17 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | MissMøffe | 8 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lcs | 469 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #2 | blind guy ⊕☁ | 292 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #3 | L1tt4u *woops* | 278 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #4 | ツL1ndst3nツ | 238 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #5 | bel1eveツ | 143 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | B I A S | +4.64 | 86 | 50 |
| #2 | ツL1ndst3nツ | +3.81 | 93 | 42 |
| #3 | lcs | +2.58 | 86 | 62 |
| #4 | Nissen Lucky | -0.25 | 87 | 39 |
| #5 | Doggie | -1.32 | 27 | 62 |





