








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 622 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 133 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 121 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 98 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 98 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 59 matches | ||
| Premier | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 28 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4165 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,668 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2872 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1901 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 6895 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 5000 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,811,517 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 91 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ツL1ndst3nツ | 98 | 0.0080 |
| #2 | blind guy ⊕☁ | 61 | 0.0071 |
| #3 | Bot Andy | 23 | 0.0157 |
| #4 | B I A S | 14 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | bel1eveツ | 12 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ツL1ndst3nツ | 938 | 0.08 | 22 min |
| #2 | blind guy ⊕☁ | 762 | 0.09 | 16 min |
| #3 | Doggie | 565 | 0.22 | 14 min |
| #4 | B I A S | 435 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #5 | bel1eveツ | 381 | 0.12 | 7 min |





