








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2567 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 146 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 140 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 132 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 110 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 45 matches | ||
| Premier | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 29 matches | ||
| Wingman | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 65 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




173 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
13933 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,560 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5123 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3927 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 5520 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 4990 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,306,638 of utility $70 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 502 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | blind guy ⊕☁ | 70 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | L1tt4u *woops* | 40 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Bot Andy | 30 | 0.0161 |
| #4 | lcs | 26 | 0.0167 |
| #5 | Doggie | 24 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doggie | 1166 | 0.22 | 27 min |
| #2 | L1tt4u *woops* | 905 | 0.07 | 27 min |
| #3 | blind guy ⊕☁ | 779 | 0.08 | 17 min |
| #4 | bel1eveツ | 701 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #5 | noob is here | 587 | 0.17 | 17 min |





