








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 646 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Premier | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




58 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4723 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,859 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3068 | 35% |
| Smokes | 2119 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2033 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1639 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $798,852 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1266 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Laksen | 53% | 30 |
| #2 | L1tt4u *woops* | 50% | 68 |
| #3 | ツL1ndst3nツ | 48% | 81 |
| #4 | B I A S | 48% | 142 |
| #5 | blind guy ⊕☁ | 47% | 140 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | blind guy ⊕☁ | 20 | 0.0072 |
| #2 | ツL1ndst3nツ | 19 | 0.0122 |
| #3 | MissMøffe | 11 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | Laksen | 9 | 0.0144 |
| #5 | Bot Andy | 9 | 0.0226 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | B I A S | 375 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #2 | blind guy ⊕☁ | 297 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #3 | L1tt4u *woops* | 123 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | ツL1ndst3nツ | 112 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | bel1eveツ | 68 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lcs | +4.64 | 88 | 62 |
| #2 | ツL1ndst3nツ | +3.49 | 91 | 41 |
| #3 | B I A S | +3.09 | 85 | 50 |
| #4 | Laksen | +0.34 | 79 | 50 |
| #5 | Bot Andy | -2.39 | 70 | 16 |





