








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 236 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Premier | 8 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1439 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,402 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3226 | 21% |
| Smokes | 4110 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3800 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 4266 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $536,960 of utility $75 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | noob is here | 47% | 147 |
| #2 | Bot Andy | 46% | 26 |
| #3 | ツL1ndst3nツ | 44% | 266 |
| #4 | B I A S | 42% | 50 |
| #5 | Doggie | 42% | 166 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | lcs | 38% | 29 |
| #9 | blind guy ⊕☁ | 38% | 120 |
| #10 | Din0 | 37% | 145 |
| #11 | L1tt4u *woops* | 37% | 174 |
| #12 | Nissen Lucky | 31% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ツL1ndst3nツ | 16 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | blind guy ⊕☁ | 12 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | noob is here | 10 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | MissMøffe | 10 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | Doggie | 9 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doggie | 737 | 0.22 | 18 min |
| #2 | ツL1ndst3nツ | 574 | 0.11 | 15 min |
| #3 | noob is here | 535 | 0.18 | 15 min |
| #4 | Din0 | 345 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #5 | L1tt4u *woops* | 212 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ツL1ndst3nツ | +7.56 | 94 | 60 |
| #2 | B I A S | +7.19 | 88 | 53 |
| #3 | lcs | +5.65 | 84 | 62 |
| #4 | Nissen Lucky | +1.40 | 88 | 40 |
| #5 | Kaffemaskine | +1.24 | 71 | 84 |





