








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 955 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September






The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 224 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 76 matches | ||
| Wingman | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Renown | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 74 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7102 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,676 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6040 | 22% |
| Smokes | 6951 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 7022 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 7663 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,907,945 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 366 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SnacKZ1 | 95% | 64 |
| #2 | '死☞Daxtar'☜ | 95% | 142 |
| #3 | LummyTum | 93% | 272 |
| #4 | ecfN | 93% | 138 |
| #5 | BingBong | 92% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | kressY | 88% | 315 |
| #10 | J0hnny | 87% | 578 |
| #11 | j1NZO | 86% | 51 |
| #12 | chrizZz | 83% | 210 |
| #13 | Bepli | 77% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J0hnny | 33 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | LummyTum | 14 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Ign0r4nC3 | 11 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | chrizZz | 9 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | roberto | 8 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J0hnny | 1796 | 0.18 | 51 min |
| #2 | kressY | 1047 | 0.19 | 30 min |
| #3 | Ign0r4nC3 | 908 | 0.10 | 28 min |
| #4 | LummyTum | 484 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #5 | roberto | 482 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | j1NZO | +3.82 | 95 | 54 |
| #2 | Ign0r4nC3 | +3.53 | 95 | 62 |
| #3 | hANNEs | +3.00 | 92 | 72 |
| #4 | kressY | +2.95 | 74 | 74 |
| #5 | BingBong | +2.93 | 87 | 59 |





