








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1088 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 322 matches | ||
| Premier | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 123 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5320 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,732 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6034 | 31% |
| Smokes | 5375 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3866 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 4457 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,298,047 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 301 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Szoszo | 74% | 23 |
| #2 | Friciii | 62% | 277 |
| #3 | kHRIS | 62% | 133 |
| #4 | † funky † | 62% | 108 |
| #5 | KODIAK | 61% | 168 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | KODIAK | 61% | 168 |
| #6 | FIFI | 61% | 276 |
| #7 | illum | 61% | 76 |
| #8 | Demku | 60% | 67 |
| #9 | kuLi | 60% | 156 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | † funky † | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | KODIAK | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | illum | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | kuLi | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | kHRIS | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Friciii | 1226 | 0.20 | 37 min |
| #2 | FIFI | 1082 | 0.18 | 31 min |
| #3 | † funky † | 402 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #4 | kuLi | 362 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #5 | kHRIS | 277 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FIFI | +2.31 | 87 | 65 |
| #2 | shake. | +1.35 | 81 | 78 |
| #3 | † funky † | +1.34 | 74 | 75 |
| #4 | kHRIS | +1.19 | 78 | 68 |
| #5 | Friciii | +0.79 | 79 | 79 |





