








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 413 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 209 matches | ||
| Premier | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3014 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,292 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2825 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2982 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2687 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2798 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $702,745 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 284 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hardstyle ///M | 87% | 15 |
| #2 | s4id | 80% | 15 |
| #3 | phoonie | 70% | 20 |
| #4 | DeadFox | 67% | 21 |
| #5 | huppe | 67% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | KODIAK | 64% | 266 |
| #8 | shake. | 60% | 156 |
| #9 | FIFI | 59% | 170 |
| #10 | Friciii | 57% | 168 |
| #11 | kHRIS | 45% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shake. | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | KODIAK | 2 | 0.0004 |
| #3 | † funky † | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | kHRIS | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | phoonie | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Friciii | 837 | 0.23 | 28 min |
| #2 | FIFI | 669 | 0.18 | 18 min |
| #3 | shake. | 564 | 0.17 | 18 min |
| #4 | KODIAK | 436 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| #5 | † funky † | 239 | 0.25 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DeadFox | +5.24 | 90 | 65 |
| #2 | FIFI | +2.56 | 87 | 62 |
| #3 | shake. | +1.46 | 78 | 79 |
| #4 | † funky † | +1.44 | 74 | 80 |
| #5 | Hardstyle ///M | +1.04 | 68 | 68 |





