








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 457 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 229 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2999 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,258 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2281 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2670 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2790 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2517 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $700,517 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 145 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | FIFI | 59% | 184 |
| #10 | Demku | 59% | 56 |
| #11 | huppe | 58% | 19 |
| #12 | KODIAK | 51% | 37 |
| #13 | kuLi | 45% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shake. | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | illum | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Friciii | 788 | 0.19 | 23 min |
| #2 | FIFI | 702 | 0.18 | 19 min |
| #3 | shake. | 526 | 0.18 | 16 min |
| #4 | † funky † | 262 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #5 | illum | 217 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FIFI | +1.88 | 86 | 67 |
| #2 | kHRIS | +1.24 | 78 | 69 |
| #3 | shake. | +0.97 | 81 | 78 |
| #4 | † funky † | +0.74 | 73 | 76 |
| #5 | Friciii | +0.65 | 80 | 78 |





