








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 149 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 112 matches | ||
| Faceit | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2255 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,769 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3532 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2253 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2890 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2094 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,052,220 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 153 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mohis | 78% | 50 |
| #2 | rudeboy_jamaican | 61% | 105 |
| #3 | Squid♂Lider | 59% | 106 |
| #4 | Piiskaaja | 58% | 165 |
| #5 | Muussaaja | 56% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ure suck a ball | 10 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Piiskaaja | 8 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | rudeboy_jamaican | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Squid♂Lider | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | juhis | 4 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Piiskaaja | 869 | 0.25 | 24 min |
| #2 | ure suck a ball | 697 | 0.16 | 20 min |
| #3 | kbz | 335 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #4 | Mohis | 270 | 0.28 | 8 min |
| #5 | Muussaaja | 265 | 0.21 | 7 min |





