








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 344 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 227 matches | ||
| Faceit | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5913 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,021 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6621 | 35% |
| Smokes | 5902 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2968 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 3530 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,142,439 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 499 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mohis | 64% | 92 |
| #2 | Muussaaja | 64% | 149 |
| #3 | rudeboy_jamaican | 64% | 110 |
| #4 | kbz | 59% | 170 |
| #5 | Squid♂Lider | 58% | 142 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ure suck a ball | 13 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Muussaaja | 7 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | rudeboy_jamaican | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Korpse | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | juhis | 3 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ure suck a ball | 1043 | 0.15 | 31 min |
| #2 | Korpse | 639 | 0.18 | 20 min |
| #3 | Muussaaja | 628 | 0.20 | 16 min |
| #4 | Mohis | 535 | 0.28 | 15 min |
| #5 | kbz | 394 | 0.11 | 10 min |





