








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 452 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 164 matches | ||
| Faceit | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 65 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3090 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,469 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2694 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2675 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2246 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2854 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,597,249 of utility $243 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 126 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | juhis | 61% | 69 |
| #2 | rudeboy_jamaican | 60% | 89 |
| #3 | Piiskaaja | 59% | 170 |
| #4 | Mohis | 58% | 48 |
| #5 | Muussaaja | 57% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ure suck a ball | 10 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Piiskaaja | 10 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | samqpa | 5 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Korpse | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Squid♂Lider | 4 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Piiskaaja | 848 | 0.24 | 25 min |
| #2 | ure suck a ball | 841 | 0.16 | 26 min |
| #3 | Korpse | 425 | 0.18 | 15 min |
| #4 | samqpa | 365 | 0.23 | 10 min |
| #5 | Mohis | 275 | 0.26 | 8 min |





