








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 93 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 85 matches | ||
| Premier | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1451 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,455 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2478 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2629 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2907 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2441 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $869,436 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 499 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | samqpa | 61% | 28 |
| #8 | kbz | 60% | 89 |
| #9 | juhis | 58% | 53 |
| #10 | Haaza | 58% | 60 |
| #11 | ure suck a ball | 57% | 178 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ure suck a ball | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Squid♂Lider | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Korpse | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | kbz | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Muussaaja | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ure suck a ball | 629 | 0.16 | 17 min |
| #2 | Piiskaaja | 605 | 0.25 | 17 min |
| #3 | Korpse | 470 | 0.21 | 15 min |
| #4 | Muussaaja | 358 | 0.22 | 9 min |
| #5 | Mohis | 279 | 0.26 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mohis | +4.59 | 86 | 77 |
| #2 | Muussaaja | +4.07 | 82 | 70 |
| #3 | Piiskaaja | +3.46 | 85 | 70 |
| #4 | samqpa | +2.32 | 83 | 72 |
| #5 | kbz | +2.22 | 77 | 67 |





