








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 74 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 44 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
376 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,400 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 295 | 21% |
| Smokes | 459 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 250 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 396 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $244,423 of utility $230 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 35 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aCos | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | eNeN :J | 64% | 14 |
| #3 | F12 Bauer | 61% | 18 |
| #4 | hArry_- | 60% | 25 |
| #5 | Aéc | 59% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Aéc | 59% | 37 |
| #6 | Casual Daddy | 57% | 21 |
| #7 | Gundalf | 57% | 42 |
| #8 | Beerus | 33% | 3 |
| #9 | Jayzeee | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gundalf | 167 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #2 | Aéc | 150 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #3 | Casual Daddy | 103 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #4 | F12 Bauer | 84 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #5 | hArry_- | 82 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aCos | +3.09 | 76 | 45 |
| #2 | Gundalf | +2.32 | 86 | 71 |
| #3 | Jayzeee | +1.05 | 84 | 53 |
| #4 | hArry_- | +0.91 | 81 | 72 |
| #5 | eNeN :J | +0.22 | 50 | 54 |





