








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 77 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 63 matches | ||
| Premier | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1017 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,189 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 793 | 25% |
| Smokes | 935 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 547 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 914 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $229,659 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gundalf | 61% | 57 |
| #2 | Jayzeee | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | Beerus | 60% | 10 |
| #4 | R.0xy | 60% | 25 |
| #5 | F12 Bauer | 58% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | R.0xy | 60% | 25 |
| #5 | F12 Bauer | 58% | 12 |
| #6 | Aéc | 58% | 38 |
| #7 | eNeN :J | 57% | 28 |
| #8 | Casual Daddy | 51% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gundalf | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Beerus | 2 | 0.0088 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gundalf | 235 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #2 | Casual Daddy | 182 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #3 | Aéc | 146 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | eNeN :J | 100 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | R.0xy | 63 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gundalf | +2.01 | 88 | 70 |
| #2 | hArry_- | +1.11 | 80 | 70 |
| #3 | Jayzeee | +0.46 | 93 | 56 |
| #4 | Beerus | +0.23 | 67 | 70 |
| #5 | Aéc | -0.12 | 79 | 58 |





