








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 96 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 64 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
766 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,648 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 703 | 27% |
| Smokes | 684 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 549 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 712 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $258,415 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aCos | 100% | 4 |
| #2 | Beerus | 67% | 6 |
| #3 | eNeN :J | 62% | 29 |
| #4 | F12 Bauer | 62% | 26 |
| #5 | R.0xy | 59% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | hArry_- | 58% | 38 |
| #7 | Gundalf | 56% | 64 |
| #8 | Casual Daddy | 48% | 31 |
| #9 | Hd3R | 33% | 6 |
| #10 | Jayzeee | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gundalf | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | hArry_- | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | R.0xy | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Beerus | 1 | 0.0080 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gundalf | 263 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #2 | Casual Daddy | 156 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #3 | hArry_- | 147 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #4 | eNeN :J | 110 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | R.0xy | 107 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aCos | +4.51 | 86 | 63 |
| #2 | Jayzeee | +2.75 | 84 | 58 |
| #3 | Gundalf | +2.24 | 87 | 73 |
| #4 | hArry_- | +0.72 | 80 | 73 |
| #5 | Aéc | +0.01 | 79 | 56 |





