








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 118 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September






The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 53 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
652 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,654 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1008 | 28% |
| Smokes | 949 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 791 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 906 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $211,586 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 19 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ze!o | 100% | 5 |
| #2 | Beerus | 75% | 16 |
| #3 | Jayzeee | 71% | 7 |
| #4 | Gundalf | 65% | 46 |
| #5 | R.0xy | 64% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | F12 Bauer | 63% | 19 |
| #7 | Aéc | 62% | 29 |
| #8 | hArry_- | 57% | 28 |
| #9 | Hd3R | 44% | 9 |
| #10 | Casual Daddy | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gundalf | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Beerus | 1 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | R.0xy | 1 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gundalf | 180 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #2 | Aéc | 156 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #3 | hArry_- | 114 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #4 | Casual Daddy | 75 | 0.25 | 2 min |
| #5 | F12 Bauer | 73 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gundalf | +2.96 | 91 | 71 |
| #2 | Jayzeee | +1.60 | 89 | 66 |
| #3 | hArry_- | +1.20 | 81 | 73 |
| #4 | Aéc | +0.40 | 81 | 52 |
| #5 | R.0xy | +0.15 | 78 | 43 |





