








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 215 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 85 matches | ||
| Premier | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1317 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,599 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1291 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1360 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 810 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1138 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $377,571 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 32 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZorNN | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | eNeN :J | 65% | 46 |
| #3 | hArry_- | 61% | 57 |
| #4 | Casual Daddy | 58% | 52 |
| #5 | F12 Bauer | 58% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | R.0xy | 57% | 42 |
| #8 | Aéc | 56% | 64 |
| #9 | Hd3R | 56% | 9 |
| #10 | tourlife | 50% | 6 |
| #11 | Jayzeee | 46% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beerus | 2 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | hArry_- | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | eNeN :J | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | R.0xy | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aéc | 265 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #2 | Casual Daddy | 236 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #3 | hArry_- | 218 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #4 | eNeN :J | 194 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #5 | F12 Bauer | 121 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jayzeee | +2.32 | 86 | 61 |
| #2 | Gundalf | +2.22 | 88 | 70 |
| #3 | hArry_- | +1.08 | 81 | 71 |
| #4 | tourlife | +1.07 | 86 | 72 |
| #5 | ZorNN | +0.59 | 87 | 60 |





