








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1037 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 540 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 188 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9561 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,148 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4490 | 19% |
| Smokes | 9016 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 4880 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4762 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,150,766 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 780 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lorkyloo | 55% | 64 |
| #2 | ZiPPy | 52% | 304 |
| #3 | Karmanized | 52% | 491 |
| #4 | xplah | 51% | 51 |
| #5 | apples. | 50% | 641 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | eides | 49% | 302 |
| #8 | Match | 48% | 50 |
| #9 | Harmless | 48% | 221 |
| #10 | {FGC}* skr | 47% | 352 |
| #11 | Syrion | 44% | 154 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | apples. | 21 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | Karmanized | 13 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | {FGC}* skr | 7 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | ZiPPy | 7 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | eides | 5 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Karmanized | 1133 | 0.11 | 30 min |
| #2 | apples. | 1125 | 0.09 | 25 min |
| #3 | ZiPPy | 442 | 0.07 | 12 min |
| #4 | {FGC}* skr | 243 | 0.03 | 6 min |
| #5 | Lorkyloo | 164 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | have | +1.86 | 76 | 54 |
| #2 | eides | +1.24 | 67 | 50 |
| #3 | Karmanized | +1.06 | 33 | 67 |
| #4 | Lorkyloo | +0.54 | 69 | 48 |
| #5 | apples. | +0.13 | 56 | 61 |





