








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2403 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1208 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 118 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 43 matches | ||
| Wingman | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 201 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




66 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
15893 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 69,359 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 16119 | 23% |
| Smokes | 20829 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 17372 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 15039 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,615,912 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4813 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lorkyloo | 56% | 130 |
| #2 | eides | 51% | 492 |
| #3 | Karmanized | 50% | 703 |
| #4 | have | 50% | 641 |
| #5 | xplah | 49% | 256 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | have | 28 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Karmanized | 22 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | {FGC}* skr | 13 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | ZiPPy | 13 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | xplah | 13 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Karmanized | 1664 | 0.11 | 44 min |
| #2 | have | 972 | 0.07 | 22 min |
| #3 | ZiPPy | 743 | 0.07 | 21 min |
| #4 | {FGC}* skr | 392 | 0.03 | 10 min |
| #5 | Lorkyloo | 333 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eides | +1.94 | 67 | 50 |
| #2 | have | +1.69 | 75 | 54 |
| #3 | viper | +1.58 | 63 | 32 |
| #4 | Karmanized | +1.36 | 34 | 69 |
| #5 | apples. | +0.49 | 57 | 62 |





