








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 263 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 277 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3380 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,636 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 735 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1287 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1509 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1105 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,439,016 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1099 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xplah | 53% | 34 |
| #2 | Lorkyloo | 53% | 40 |
| #3 | have | 48% | 221 |
| #4 | {FGC}* skr | 48% | 128 |
| #5 | ZiPPy | 47% | 158 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Karmanized | 13 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | apples. | 11 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | have | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | ZiPPy | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | {FGC}* skr | 4 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Karmanized | 980 | 0.11 | 24 min |
| #2 | apples. | 443 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| #3 | have | 372 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #4 | ZiPPy | 188 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #5 | eides | 101 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | have | +2.10 | 80 | 52 |
| #2 | eides | +2.10 | 68 | 52 |
| #3 | Karmanized | +1.66 | 35 | 67 |
| #4 | apples. | +0.63 | 61 | 64 |
| #5 | Lorkyloo | +0.34 | 69 | 45 |





