








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 604 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 631 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8601 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,892 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3694 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2144 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 4328 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 4726 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,530,840 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 464 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Willow | 53% | 111 |
| #2 | eides | 50% | 237 |
| #3 | Karmanized | 49% | 319 |
| #4 | ZiPPy | 48% | 255 |
| #5 | Harmless | 48% | 128 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | apples. | 19 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | have | 18 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Karmanized | 8 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | eides | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | ZiPPy | 5 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | apples. | 1091 | 0.10 | 23 min |
| #2 | Karmanized | 765 | 0.11 | 20 min |
| #3 | have | 599 | 0.08 | 13 min |
| #4 | ZiPPy | 412 | 0.08 | 12 min |
| #5 | Willow | 292 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eides | +2.19 | 67 | 50 |
| #2 | Karmanized | +1.86 | 36 | 68 |
| #3 | have | +1.70 | 75 | 53 |
| #4 | Willow | +0.90 | 54 | 64 |
| #5 | apples. | +0.37 | 54 | 61 |





