








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 982 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 598 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 89 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7547 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 36,382 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10879 | 30% |
| Smokes | 6591 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 10783 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 8129 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,745,453 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1951 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Match | 50% | 58 |
| #8 | xplah | 50% | 62 |
| #9 | {FGC}* skr | 49% | 319 |
| #10 | Harmless | 47% | 419 |
| #11 | Syrion | 44% | 150 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | apples. | 30 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | have | 17 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | eides | 8 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Harmless | 8 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | {FGC}* skr | 7 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | apples. | 1051 | 0.07 | 24 min |
| #2 | have | 782 | 0.08 | 16 min |
| #3 | ZiPPy | 375 | 0.05 | 12 min |
| #4 | eides | 246 | 0.02 | 5 min |
| #5 | {FGC}* skr | 201 | 0.03 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eides | +1.66 | 68 | 50 |
| #2 | have | +1.45 | 75 | 53 |
| #3 | Karmanized | +1.42 | 35 | 68 |
| #4 | Match | +0.40 | 56 | 25 |
| #5 | apples. | +0.12 | 59 | 61 |





