








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 685 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 368 matches | ||
| Faceit | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8941 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,471 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2654 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2448 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 4677 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 2692 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,238,161 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 317 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J2 | 58% | 55 |
| #2 | FootyBister | 57% | 94 |
| #3 | Who Ya Callin Pinhead | 54% | 59 |
| #4 | OZZYw00d | 54% | 93 |
| #5 | Moon Man Bing Bong | 53% | 213 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | matt-E | 51% | 230 |
| #7 | ender | 50% | 155 |
| #8 | Boiled Eggs | 50% | 54 |
| #9 | Al Shabab's Kebabs | 49% | 102 |
| #10 | Fragget | 47% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Al Shabab's Kebabs | 43 | 0.0212 |
| #2 | FootyBister | 17 | 0.0091 |
| #3 | Who Ya Callin Pinhead | 14 | 0.0117 |
| #4 | Moon Man Bing Bong | 13 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | matt-E | 4 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | matt-E | 2086 | 0.41 | 60 min |
| #2 | OZZYw00d | 305 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #3 | J2 | 266 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| #4 | FootyBister | 223 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | Boiled Eggs | 185 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Moon Man Bing Bong | +3.68 | 90 | 23 |
| #2 | ENGLEBERT HUMPER DINKSON | +1.92 | 70 | 37 |
| #3 | J2 | +0.95 | 64 | 56 |
| #4 | FootyBister | +0.55 | 68 | 48 |
| #5 | ender | -0.40 | 68 | 39 |





