








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 830 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 334 matches | ||
| Premier | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4661 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,819 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2711 | 18% |
| Smokes | 4408 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3750 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3950 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,856,166 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 409 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mitro | 68% | 28 |
| #2 | Timbalandz | 65% | 63 |
| #3 | PSOTY | 64% | 55 |
| #4 | Mathe | 64% | 66 |
| #5 | HeimoBoy | 63% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #16 | Iikkaaaa | 55% | 69 |
| #17 | Blade of Saeldor | 54% | 35 |
| #18 | tappo nugetti | 50% | 32 |
| #19 | irppa | 49% | 47 |
| #20 | Рэй <> | 48% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Khasq | 8 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Рэй <> | 8 | 0.0127 |
| #3 | Kakkanen | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Timbalandz | 7 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | tappo nugetti | 7 | 0.0099 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kakkanen | 979 | 0.20 | 25 min |
| #2 | Khasq | 454 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #3 | Johnny F. Raider | 433 | 0.20 | 12 min |
| #4 | ePä ReHtI☂ ePäBaNjO☂ | 287 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #5 | Timbalandz | 242 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kakkanen | +2.71 | 80 | 78 |
| #2 | Johnny F. Raider | +2.66 | 74 | 83 |
| #3 | PSOTY | +2.11 | 79 | 75 |
| #4 | Natzku☂ | +1.70 | 74 | 59 |
| #5 | stemu | +1.04 | 73 | 59 |





