








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 420 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3674 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,480 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1617 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2163 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2319 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1381 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,189,845 of utility $210 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 400 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tony Tortellini | 54% | 118 |
| #2 | nack | 54% | 255 |
| #3 | Pink Gorilla | 53% | 120 |
| #4 | ۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞.tulab[7o2] | 52% | 66 |
| #5 | Hassan Al Bigdaddi | 51% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nack | 13 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Naxty | 8 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | ۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞.tulab[7o2] | 7 | 0.0050 |
| #4 | Pink Gorilla | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Tony Tortellini | 4 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nack | 464 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #2 | Tony Tortellini | 453 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #3 | Pink Gorilla | 300 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #4 | Hassan Al Bigdaddi | 152 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | ۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞.tulab[7o2] | 133 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Foxtrot | +3.56 | 84 | 63 |
| #2 | nack | +1.05 | 62 | 65 |
| #3 | ۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞.tulab[7o2] | +0.42 | 68 | 62 |
| #4 | Naxty | +0.06 | 50 | 67 |
| #5 | Hassan Al Bigdaddi | -0.52 | 52 | 57 |





