








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 513 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 136 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4298 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,639 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3729 | 22% |
| Smokes | 4581 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 5082 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 3247 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,213,158 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 726 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Foxtrot | 54% | 255 |
| #2 | ۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞.tulab[7o2] | 51% | 73 |
| #3 | Pink Gorilla | 47% | 201 |
| #4 | Tony Tortellini | 47% | 206 |
| #5 | Hassan Al Bigdaddi | 44% | 118 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Foxtrot | 18 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | Naxty | 14 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | Tony Tortellini | 12 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Hassan Al Bigdaddi | 11 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | Pink Gorilla | 10 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tony Tortellini | 818 | 0.19 | 18 min |
| #2 | Pink Gorilla | 501 | 0.12 | 15 min |
| #3 | Foxtrot | 486 | 0.09 | 14 min |
| #4 | Hassan Al Bigdaddi | 292 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #5 | Naxty | 209 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Foxtrot | +3.68 | 84 | 63 |
| #2 | nack | +1.18 | 63 | 65 |
| #3 | ۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞.tulab[7o2] | +0.55 | 67 | 62 |
| #4 | Naxty | +0.52 | 54 | 63 |
| #5 | Tony Tortellini | -0.81 | 45 | 71 |





