








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 104 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1389 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,649 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 677 | 15% |
| Smokes | 888 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1882 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 1202 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $369,573 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 124 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Foxtrot | 49% | 71 |
| #2 | Tony Tortellini | 48% | 119 |
| #3 | Hassan Al Bigdaddi | 46% | 72 |
| #4 | nack | 43% | 138 |
| #5 | DSPerks | 39% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | nack | 43% | 138 |
| #5 | DSPerks | 39% | 56 |
| #6 | Pink Gorilla | 38% | 24 |
| #7 | ۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞.tulab[7o2] | 29% | 14 |
| #8 | Rex Kwon Do | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nack | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Tony Tortellini | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Hassan Al Bigdaddi | 5 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Foxtrot | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | DSPerks | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tony Tortellini | 478 | 0.19 | 11 min |
| #2 | nack | 236 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #3 | Hassan Al Bigdaddi | 195 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | Foxtrot | 145 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | DSPerks | 67 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Foxtrot | +2.99 | 80 | 62 |
| #2 | ۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞.tulab[7o2] | +1.67 | 60 | 57 |
| #3 | nack | +1.14 | 60 | 64 |
| #4 | Naxty | +0.81 | 54 | 63 |
| #5 | Tony Tortellini | -0.94 | 45 | 71 |





