








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 74 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Premier | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
954 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,466 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 805 | 33% |
| Smokes | 599 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 391 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 671 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $147,167 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mike481 | 82% | 11 |
| #2 | Senpaii | 78% | 9 |
| #3 | NutMax | 75% | 4 |
| #4 | DyesukE | 75% | 4 |
| #5 | KiCk!nG | 67% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | star1x | 63% | 27 |
| #10 | kaw0nee | 60% | 5 |
| #11 | v1gues | 57% | 7 |
| #12 | Super Filion | 52% | 66 |
| #13 | LegumZ | 50% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Super Filion | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | star1x | 2 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | Tars | 2 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | KiCk!nG | 2 | 0.0110 |
| #5 | JODII | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Super Filion | 225 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #2 | JODII | 115 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #3 | star1x | 90 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | mike481 | 49 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #5 | KiCk!nG | 49 | 0.27 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DyesukE | +3.59 | 85 | 24 |
| #2 | NutMax | +3.46 | 74 | 67 |
| #3 | mike481 | +2.91 | 95 | 53 |
| #4 | cripown | +2.08 | 86 | 60 |
| #5 | Senpaii | +1.65 | 58 | 67 |





