








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 162 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 115 matches | ||
| Faceit | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2931 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,615 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2701 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3099 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1727 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2088 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $724,796 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tars | 55% | 22 |
| #2 | cripown | 52% | 66 |
| #3 | Karnage | 50% | 14 |
| #4 | SwiCH | 50% | 14 |
| #5 | v1gues | 50% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mike481 | 7 | 0.0076 |
| #2 | star1x | 5 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | JODII | 4 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | cripown | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | KiCk!nG | 2 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SwiCH | +3.70 | 86 | 67 |
| #2 | KiCk!nG | +2.77 | 79 | 79 |
| #3 | cripown | +2.34 | 86 | 60 |
| #4 | mike481 | +1.60 | 90 | 64 |
| #5 | JODII | +0.60 | 59 | 57 |





