








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 47 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
229 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 545 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 165 | 30% |
| Smokes | 147 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 118 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 115 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $48,046 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | v1gues | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | NutMax | 100% | 3 |
| #3 | star1x | 75% | 8 |
| #4 | JODII | 70% | 10 |
| #5 | toomuchSUGAR | 67% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Super Filion | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | cripown | 1 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | JODII | 1 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Super Filion | 112 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #2 | cripown | 57 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #3 | star1x | 28 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #4 | JODII | 27 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | ANX1ETY | 15 | 0.31 | 0 min |





