








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 188 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 117 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1820 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,184 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1647 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1996 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1685 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1856 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $475,786 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 54 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bOEL | 68% | 25 |
| #2 | Wingz | 68% | 37 |
| #3 | dejvin | 65% | 20 |
| #4 | Soppinen | 60% | 20 |
| #5 | Sparris | 59% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | dipsyB | 47% | 100 |
| #12 | Bitch | 45% | 22 |
| #13 | nejhan :O]-< | 40% | 15 |
| #14 | S̶o̶u̶p̶ | 39% | 46 |
| #15 | Obababawuwuwgagagagegege | 37% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pomp1 | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Wingz | 3 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | dipsyB | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | bOEL | 2 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | Sparris | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pomp1 | 785 | 0.25 | 29 min |
| #2 | dipsyB | 235 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #3 | Sparris | 218 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #4 | Obababawuwuwgagagagegege | 121 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #5 | Musse | 81 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | phTefaN | +2.02 | 80 | 67 |
| #2 | Wingz | +1.34 | 90 | 62 |
| #3 | dejvin | +1.34 | 82 | 62 |
| #4 | Pomp1 | +1.02 | 66 | 80 |
| #5 | Sparris | +0.74 | 82 | 68 |





