








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 41 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 113 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1728 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,850 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 882 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1400 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1545 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1023 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $516,041 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 59 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Soppinen | 58% | 12 |
| #2 | phTefaN | 58% | 38 |
| #3 | Bitch | 56% | 16 |
| #4 | Cholipung | 55% | 11 |
| #5 | dipsyB | 54% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | bOEL | 53% | 19 |
| #9 | Sparris | 51% | 161 |
| #10 | Pomp1 | 50% | 104 |
| #11 | Musse | 49% | 45 |
| #12 | S̶o̶u̶p̶ | 49% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sparris | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | Pomp1 | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | dejvin | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | bOEL | 2 | 0.0084 |
| #5 | phTefaN | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pomp1 | 530 | 0.26 | 18 min |
| #2 | Sparris | 332 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #3 | Musse | 123 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | dejvin | 118 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | Obababawuwuwgagagagegege | 96 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | phTefaN | +2.83 | 78 | 66 |
| #2 | Cholipung | +2.74 | 72 | 70 |
| #3 | Soppinen | +1.93 | 75 | 71 |
| #4 | dejvin | +1.92 | 83 | 60 |
| #5 | S̶o̶u̶p̶ | +0.70 | 68 | 65 |





