








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 269 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 237 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3167 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,744 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2892 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2208 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2342 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2302 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $985,681 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 258 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wingz | 68% | 28 |
| #2 | bOEL | 51% | 47 |
| #3 | Musse | 51% | 69 |
| #4 | Sparris | 50% | 125 |
| #5 | Obababawuwuwgagagagegege | 50% | 109 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sparris | 9 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Pomp1 | 7 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Bitch | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Obababawuwuwgagagagegege | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | dipsyB | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pomp1 | 1194 | 0.30 | 44 min |
| #2 | Obababawuwuwgagagagegege | 408 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #3 | Sparris | 273 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #4 | dipsyB | 194 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #5 | Musse | 164 | 0.12 | 4 min |





