








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 279 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 344 matches | ||
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5410 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,872 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4425 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2830 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 4377 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3240 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,598,098 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 561 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wingz | 64% | 59 |
| #2 | Soppinen | 60% | 67 |
| #3 | dejvin | 59% | 44 |
| #4 | phTefaN | 59% | 94 |
| #5 | Pomp1 | 54% | 315 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | S̶o̶u̶p̶ | 50% | 125 |
| #12 | Obababawuwuwgagagagegege | 50% | 131 |
| #13 | Cholipung | 47% | 85 |
| #14 | nejhan :O]-< | 47% | 102 |
| #15 | Bitch | 47% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pomp1 | 10 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | S̶o̶u̶p̶ | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Musse | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | bOEL | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | dejvin | 3 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pomp1 | 1721 | 0.28 | 59 min |
| #2 | Obababawuwuwgagagagegege | 406 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #3 | Musse | 314 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #4 | phTefaN | 245 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | S̶o̶u̶p̶ | 214 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dejvin | +2.97 | 80 | 57 |
| #2 | phTefaN | +2.25 | 78 | 67 |
| #3 | Wingz | +1.99 | 92 | 57 |
| #4 | Soppinen | +1.80 | 75 | 68 |
| #5 | Sparris | +1.11 | 81 | 62 |





