








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1163 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 564 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6172 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,027 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9848 | 31% |
| Smokes | 8821 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 6220 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 7138 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,704,784 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 603 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wingz | 64% | 95 |
| #2 | Sparris | 54% | 315 |
| #3 | phTefaN | 51% | 147 |
| #4 | bOEL | 51% | 124 |
| #5 | Soppinen | 51% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | S̶o̶u̶p̶ | 47% | 195 |
| #12 | Cholipung | 46% | 175 |
| #13 | Obababawuwuwgagagagegege | 46% | 250 |
| #14 | Musse | 45% | 126 |
| #15 | nejhan :O]-< | 42% | 228 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sparris | 11 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | bOEL | 6 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | dipsyB | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Obababawuwuwgagagagegege | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Wingz | 4 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Obababawuwuwgagagagegege | 759 | 0.16 | 16 min |
| #2 | Sparris | 674 | 0.11 | 18 min |
| #3 | dipsyB | 548 | 0.11 | 19 min |
| #4 | phTefaN | 341 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #5 | S̶o̶u̶p̶ | 325 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wingz | +1.98 | 92 | 59 |
| #2 | phTefaN | +1.86 | 80 | 66 |
| #3 | Pomp1 | +1.62 | 66 | 81 |
| #4 | Soppinen | +1.31 | 76 | 62 |
| #5 | Sparris | +1.29 | 81 | 61 |





