








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 111 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1449 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,781 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 615 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1180 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1105 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 881 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $305,861 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 188 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pikarn | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | bOEL | 68% | 19 |
| #3 | Musse | 68% | 28 |
| #4 | S̶o̶u̶p̶ | 68% | 28 |
| #5 | phTefaN | 68% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sparris | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Pomp1 | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | phTefaN | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Musse | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | bOEL | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pomp1 | 541 | 0.28 | 20 min |
| #2 | Sparris | 140 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | dipsyB | 98 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | phTefaN | 73 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Musse | 58 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pikarn | +3.30 | 92 | 50 |
| #2 | phTefaN | +2.55 | 83 | 66 |
| #3 | Wingz | +1.81 | 91 | 59 |
| #4 | S̶o̶u̶p̶ | +1.58 | 76 | 67 |
| #5 | Pomp1 | +1.58 | 69 | 81 |





