










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2749 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 602 matches | ||
| Faceit | 139 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 81 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




66 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10391 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 35,335 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8505 | 24% |
| Smokes | 9019 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 9676 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 8135 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,027,411 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2057 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gonk | 61% | 125 |
| #2 | eskay | 59% | 87 |
| #3 | Johnathan Sins | 57% | 202 |
| #4 | SaltyDawg | 54% | 155 |
| #5 | Lagahan | 49% | 105 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Johnathan Sins | 57% | 202 |
| #4 | SaltyDawg | 54% | 155 |
| #5 | Lagahan | 49% | 105 |
| #6 | Winnie | 48% | 149 |
| #7 | Matt | 45% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Johnathan Sins | 16 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | SaltyDawg | 10 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Gonk | 10 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | eskay | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Winnie | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Johnathan Sins | 705 | 0.16 | 18 min |
| #2 | Winnie | 499 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #3 | SaltyDawg | 476 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #4 | Gonk | 460 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #5 | Matt | 369 | 0.28 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cuba | +2.20 | 78 | 64 |
| #2 | Lagahan | +1.28 | 78 | 48 |
| #3 | Gonk | +1.09 | 69 | 75 |
| #4 | Johnathan Sins | +0.37 | 60 | 67 |
| #5 | Matt | -0.14 | 73 | 76 |





