








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Premier | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2430 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,479 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2077 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2004 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2971 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 1427 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $334,249 of utility $56 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 24 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AK^ WOEHOE | 54% | 164 |
| #2 | winnie | 54% | 126 |
| #3 | e2 | 52% | 120 |
| #4 | Frojo | 48% | 27 |
| #5 | Cerb | 48% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | winnie | 54% | 126 |
| #3 | e2 | 52% | 120 |
| #4 | Frojo | 48% | 27 |
| #5 | Cerb | 48% | 86 |
| #6 | Stumpje | 44% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AK^ WOEHOE | 8 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | winnie | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | e2 | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Cerb | 3 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | winnie | 287 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #2 | Cerb | 281 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | AK^ WOEHOE | 274 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #4 | e2 | 174 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | Stumpje | 68 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AK^ WOEHOE | +2.28 | 81 | 65 |
| #2 | Frojo | +1.37 | 64 | 54 |
| #3 | e2 | +0.54 | 79 | 54 |
| #4 | Rassing | +0.14 | 80 | 57 |
| #5 | Stumpje | -0.66 | 70 | 60 |





